Raking the Muck

Yoda & Me

2008-07-19T14:40:00.001-05:00

Yoda & Me
Originally uploaded by darthvedder81

Attention Everyone!

2008-07-16T01:19:00.003-05:00

This is just a friendly reminder that all human beings everywhere are required by Movie Law™ to go see The Dark Knight this Friday July 18. If you have not seen or have tickets to see the latest Batman installment by Saturday July 19 12:01 am EST please be aware that roaming bands of Warner Bros. stormtroopers may invade your home and force repeated viewings of Batman & Robin upon you.

You are also required to watch the film in rapt silence, taking completely seriously the tragic and real-world story of a man in a batsuit who fights a clown with gadgets.

Baby wants the iPhone

2008-07-09T16:17:00.001-05:00

Baby wants the iPhone
Originally uploaded by darthvedder81

From the back of my Lean Cuisine

2008-07-08T15:58:00.003-05:00

This is just good advice and a big improvement over my previous method of inhaling all of my meals off a 1982 Lincoln Continental hubcap in 7.65 seconds while hanging upside-down.

Not bad

2008-07-02T17:14:00.000-05:00

OnePlusYou Quizzes and Widgets

In case you weren't sure

2008-07-01T14:45:00.002-05:00

Brad Arnold, the lead singer of southern rock group 3 Doors Down would like to remind you that he does indeed own a sword.

Man oh man do I hate them fancy lads!

2008-06-23T13:28:00.001-05:00

200? Amateur.

2008-06-20T12:42:00.000-05:00

Stuff White People Like: Bumper Stickers

2008-06-12T15:55:00.002-05:00

"As of February 2008, white law requires an Obama 08 bumper sticker to be placed on the back of every Prius."

The Time Machine Did It

2008-06-07T01:28:00.002-05:00

Some excerpts from the greatest "Simpsons" writer ever—John Swartzwelder's hilarious book "The Time Machine Did It":

They beat me for a little longer, then tried out various truth serums on me. "Which truth serum tastes better?" asked one.

"It's hard to say," I said. "They're both so awful. This one, I guess."

"He's lying, Lieutenant."

They worked me over a little longer—trying out various brands of tear gas and suspect kicking boots on me—you can't beat that kind of "in the field" testing—then they spent a half hour pushing me off the tops of file cabinets. I don't know what that was about.

••••••••••

I woke up the next morning cold and cramped. The room, as advertised, was a miracle of understatement. No heat, no lights, no blankets, no bed, just me. I washed my face in some snow that had drifted in through the window, and dried it on a handy rodent.

•••••••••••

I took a walk around town. It was like I was living in a history book. A stinking history book. I never did like history when I was in school, and this wasn't increasing my fondness for the subject. History is over, I've always felt, let's move on.

Christian Bale

2008-06-05T13:14:00.004-05:00

...would like to remind you that he is, in fact, the greatest actor of his generation. Every film he stars in is supremely entertaining and his performances are invariably transcendent and nuanced.

Christian Bale would also like you to pay no attention to this.

That's a bad touch Superman (at 0:32)

2008-06-04T13:23:00.001-05:00

Just think: if this is what was deleted from Superman IV the rest must have been pure movie magic!

More fun with stock photography

2008-05-29T11:09:00.003-05:00

"As painful as the experience was, Tommy had to admit
that his freakishly over-sized ears made for easy gripping."

Fun with stock photography

2008-05-28T14:23:00.003-05:00

"The Hendersons watch The Crying Game."

As long as you're up...

2008-05-23T22:59:00.003-05:00

...would you also slap me?

Thanks. A friend always,

Paul Dano

Because Mee-Shell's smilin'

2008-05-16T16:01:00.001-05:00

"Wear this t-shirt for free admission to the Smash Club."

Yes this is happening

2008-05-08T13:27:00.001-05:00

I'm still angry about "Hamster Dance: The Movie" falling through the cracks over at Paramount (apparently Jake Gyllenhaal backed out at the last minute!).

I too need to be slapped

2008-05-07T17:19:00.001-05:00

Please slap me

2008-05-07T14:58:00.003-05:00

So he'll babysit your kids for you?

2008-05-05T12:21:00.003-05:00

From Obama's education page:

Affordable, High-Quality Child Care: Obama will also provide affordable and high-quality child care to ease the burden on working families.

I see this as a positive development—a politician with a real job!

Landed on his bonnet?

2008-05-02T12:02:00.003-05:00

What interests me about this story is not the obvious weirdness of a chunky woman soaring above the mountains of Nuevo Leon (it seems like the Mexicans are always encountering flying objects, or Chupacabras or evil little gnomes, etc.)

No, what caught my attention was this:

And policeman Leonardo Samaniego also claimed a floating person had dropped out of the sky and landed on his bonnet.

PJ and I

2008-04-29T21:42:00.000-05:00

How to win the war on Global Warming

2008-04-28T22:32:00.001-05:00

We could stop buying Time magazine for starters.

As long as 2 million people are pre-ordering "Grand Theft Auto" I'm not going to worry about the economy

2008-04-28T12:32:00.004-05:00

The New York Times—that most hallowed of all the bird-cage liners—recently published a story on our sagging economy and how people are cutting costs buy adjusting their diets and buying fewer name brands. The article is the usual NYT hysterical nonsense with this irresponsible and asinine quote from "retail consultant" (i.e. "giant money furnace") Burt Flickinger:

“It hasn’t gotten to human food mixed with pet food yet but it is certainly headed in that direction.”

I dunno Burt, I dunno. There's no doubt we might be in the midst of a recession (which are cyclical and unavoidable) but I have a hard time accepting all the doom and gloom. While I'm sure there are people struggling to make ends meet like there always are all this catastrophic lingo just doesn't compute when I see the vast prosperity surrounding us—even our cheap crap is better than ever.

Heck, a little economic turbulence might be a good thing if it gets more people to prioritize in their budgeting and save a little bit more. If money is tight just keep in mind that despite what TV says you don't need a 52" HDTV, $5 light bulbs, and organic lettuce—you really don't.

For informed political opinion try this guy!

2008-04-27T01:07:00.004-05:00

He sort of looks like a cross between Kevin Spacey and Norm MacDonald (beware of some salty language):

I hope you enjoyed that as much as Scott & the "Corkmeister" did.

Oh, and who knew Antarctica was a country!