Spare me my life!

Twins trade Lohse to Angels, acquire Rally Monkey

Mike Nelson moving to San Diego!

Yup it's true according to Mst3k.com. I guess he got a job as "Creative Content Producer" for Legend Films. So best of luck to Mike!

"I'm very excited. Legend Films is such a great fit for me—talented people who consistently put out a great product. Plus there are Flaming Hot Cheetos™ in the lunch room vending machine. That made it an easy choice to join the team," enthused Nelson.

He's also going to be making some more "RiffTrax" to popular stupid movies. For $1.99 you can download an MP3 of Mike's riffing that syncs up with the official DVD's. Pretty sweet idea. I've got the first one (for "Road House") but have yet to watch it as we can't find our copy of Road House at the Slater Estates. I don't know about you but I'm not about to pay $14.99 for a fresh copy of "Road House". Anyway, the next movie in the "riffing" queue is "The Fifth Element" so that should be fun.

Is this really news?

President Not Respected By Foreign Leaders

Of course he's not! He hasn't been for awhile. At this point does anyone, Republican or Democrat really still think he cares what Jacques Chirac or Kofi Annan thinks about anything?
Our current world leaders put Sudan and Cuba in charge of watching "human rights" so I for one really respect their opinions on important world matters.

Here's some real news: most foreign leaders are morons. This has been true for oh, only about 4,000 years. Yes, from Hammurabi to Hitler it's a neverending treadmill of powerful idiots.

That's what makes the United States of America so wonderful and so unique in all of world history. We aren't beholden to the whims of one ruler. Even if you hate President Bush he's not controlling and only very marginally affecting your daily life—the God-given liberties we enjoy transcend our authorities.

We put up with 8 years of Clinton and aside from him doing nothing about international terrorism, murdering people in Waco, TX and disgracing the Oval Office we remain no worse for the wear!

Cowabunga Dude!

Click here

The honorable Judge Reinhold presides

There he is folks. The man you've all been waiting for. Here's an actual photo of a Judge Reinhold in his habitat. Feel free to observe and ask questions—but keep your distance! Judge Reinhold is easily startled and may kick you with his compact but powerful hind legs!

In other news, tomorrow is the last day of the ICRS 2006 Road-Trip Fantastic!®. Today was spent traipsing across western South-Dakota with stops as varied as Mt.Rushmore, the Cosmos mystery-vortex, and the Jewel Cave (which thankfully does not involve any crooning whatsoever from certain mournful female folk artists).

We also drove through the tourist-trap, tacky-land that is Keystone, SD. Judging by the many signs adorning the various taffy shops, hotels, "western wear" boutiques they should just go ahead and rename that town "Bad Photoshop Blends, South Dakota."

Tommy Kirk Cameron Mannheim Steamroller

Well here he is, your ICRS 2006 Christian celebrity of the day:

Kirk Cameron.

Not much of a reach I know. KC has been to more than a few of these conventions and this is at least the 4th time I've seen him here personally. He seems like a decent enough guy and he certainly draws the biggest ICRS book-signing lines. That probably shouldn't surprise anyone though. I mean this ain't no two-bit Christian celebrity like Willie Aames or Shecky Baldwin. This is Mike freaking Seaver we are talking about here.

Oh and by the way, that's Ray Comfort's hand in front of him. Hooray!

Also, I hope to bring you a special surprise photo here soon.

Stay tuned.

Hey look, a Baldwin

Well I didn't get to meet him, but here's an actual photo of Stephen Baldwin (otherwise known as the "Dopey-looking Baldwin") from the 2006 International Christian Retail Show (ICRS) in Denver, CO. The photo was taken at a book signing he did on the show floor with the book he was pimping being called "The Unusual Suspect". I don't know if he's a good writer or anything but it has to at least be a better Baldwin opus than Bio-Dome.

I also have another book signing snapshot of a popular Christian celebrity to bring you tomorrow. I'll give you a hint: he starred in one of the 4,568 "switcheroo" comedies of the 80's (you know, the ones where the spirits of fathers/sons, men/dogs, monkeys/cab drivers would swap and then everyone would learn valuable lessons).

And speaking of switcheroo comedies there was a confirmed sighting of Vice Versa's own Judge Reinhold! That's right folks, Brad from Fast Times loves Jesus. Now if only Pheobe Cates would convert, then we might have something.

I don't have a photo of him yet but you can bet your bippy that if I see JR tomorrow I'll be sure to bring you the scoop.